Sunday, December 22, 2013

3 Things to do before ANY abdominal surgery, and 3 things for after...

As a courtesy to my fellow man, I have compiled a list of three things to do before you have any kind of abdominal surgery. Here ya go:

1. Sleep on your stomach every chance you get. Revel in it. And I mean really REVEL in it.

2. Enjoy getting on and off the toilet without praying for those handicap handrails. Maybe get up and down a few extra times, just out of the sheer joy and freedom of it all.

3. Encourage your children to punch you in the stomach a few times, jump on you, and throw things at you-- help them to get it all out of their system now, because afterwards it will make you swear like a sailor.

And 3 for after (ok, it's really just one big long one):

1. Sleep lots, without any guilt, and take those dang pain pills, without any guilt, and keep your kids away from your stomach, also without any guilt.

Also, maybe 2: don't try to write a blog post while on said pain pills..... :)

1 comment:

  1. Surely you meant "swear like a racehorse," right? Lol
    I wish we lived closer so that we could have our own little version of church this morning as we both recover. PS. I pray that your toilet is made of stronger stuff than mine.