So about a month and a half ago, Nienie hosted an essay contest entitled, Motherhood is...
I didn't win, but here it is......
When I was little, probably 7 or 8, I used to get really bad growing pains in my legs. I remember one night in particular that the pain was just excruciating. I laid in bed that night and just sobbed. I drifted in and out of sleep until my mother came in and upon finding out what was wrong, went and warmed towels in our oven to wrap around my legs. And not just once, she rewarmed them twice after they had cooled. The relief was immediate. And that relief didn’t just come from the blessedly warm towels-- it came from having my mother minister to me. Even just feeling the blessing of her love on that miserable night. As I thought about this experience very early this morning after climbing back into bed after a 5:30am feeding for my little man, I started thinking, What is Motherhood? What is it that can change a child’s experience so irrevocably? The answer came-- Motherhood is an eternal sacrifice. Not just a here and now responsibility, but a divine calling that lasts through the eternities. When my first little baby came to me, it was too soon and very unexpected. She lived only a few days before she left this earth, and a week after her birth we held a small funeral for her. At the gravesite, a woman whom I knew very little at the time, came up to me and after giving me a warm hug, kissed my forehead and said, “You are a mother now. And you always will be.” The words seemed odd to me at the time, but they stuck. And the more I have thought about them, the more the truth of them fills my soul. Although my little girl had moved on, and I didn’t have the literal, physical care of her, I was forever changed. I was a mother. As my other babies have come, and I have had the joy and sometimes terror of taking care of them, this feeling has only increased. The many nights that I have spent sleepless, worrying about whether or not I fed them enough that day, or cuddled them enough, or just looked at them enough, are part of my eternal sacrifice. These children, and all that I give to them are my offering to the Lord. This thing they call Motherhood is my sacrifice. And if that is all that I have to give, it is enough.
