Things my daughter has learned from "Tangled"

1. I'm not really "mom." I've stolen her from her real parents and am actually a witch. (AND she is REALLY a princess.) She loves to make me sing "Mother knows best" while she runs screaming and hides from me.

2. Frying pans can solve any problem-- especially annoying little brothers....

3. All princesses live in towers (or... the top of the swing-set). And wear dresses. All. The. Time.

4. Kissing is equivalent to marrying. Period.

5. Kings and Queens sleep together.

6. Horses are cool. And also.... can be treated like dogs. (Drop it!)

7. ALL girls go through the long-hair, short-hair phases.

Guys... I'm a little stressed. (and this post is all over the place)

This is a safe place right? I could use one of those right now. A place where I can admit that sometimes I wish I could ducktape Quinn's mouth closed. Right? (I mean, my gosh.... she talks CONSTANTLY) And that Mommy really needs to watch her mouth. That's right. I said it. The other day, one of Quinn's barbies (the crazy-haired, ridiculously tanned, brunette one) turned to the other barbie and said, "What the hell are you doing?!" Ok, really?! I have only said this to her probably twice in her whole friggin' life! And now she's throwin' it around in B-town. Although she did make up for it later, when she tried to teach crazy tanned barbie how to pray (hopefully for forgiveness). And while I am on confessions, I left Mac's poopy butt on him for one whole hour yesterday before I changed it. Wow- that feels good to just get that out there. 

But can I just say-- that I am so glad that I have two crazy little munchkins? Because when mommy is being a poo-head, as Quinn likes to call it, they have each other. Always. I love that. And usually when I hear them start giggling at each other's snort noises in the other room, it has a magical tendency to boost my mood. Seriously. 

Brothers and sisters are the best. And on this day I would like to give a big thank you to my own mama for having 10 of us. Because there was never ever a dull moment, and because even when my "friends" were all being jerks-- I always had a real friend in my brothers and sisters.

Midnight Banshee

It started out like any other night.... the kids and I accompanied Tyson on a few tree bids. (I sat in the car and did my darnedest to keep the kids entertained, while Tyson worked his tree magic on some unsuspecting customers.) The following are actual text messages (that went unanswered, by the way) from me to Tyson during this time:

"Little problem here.... Mac pooped and the wipes are not in my bag. Yay."

and then, three minutes later.....

"Also, Quinn threw up in her mouth because of the smell.... :)"

By the time Tyson got back to the truck, Mac's poo was a hopeless pancake, but still (thankfully) contained in his diaper, and Quinn was sitting as far away from him as possible and breathing through her mouth.

We had accompanied Tyson with the thought that we would all go to Rexburg when finished, to help Emmy pack up her stuff. We bagged that idea and I stayed home and changed poopy-butt and put the kids to bed while Tyson headed to Rexburg S-O-L-O.

What followed, was the only two peaceful, restful hours that I got that night. And I spent them reading a dang book. If I had only known what was coming, I would have slept like a baby during that time. Stupid hindsight.

Tyson got home a little after 9 and spent 15 minutes talking on the phone before the puke-bomb went off. Apparently Quinn's puking in her mouth earlier, had not been due to Mac's poops. Wishful thinking on my part. From then on, Quinn puked (or dry-heaved as time went on) every twenty minutes until about 4 in the morning.

At one point she was laying next to our bed looking completely wretched and Tyson leaned down and put his hand on Quinn's head and said, "I'm sorry, Gup. I'm sorry you're pukey." She looked at him and said, "It's okay. It's not your fault." Geez, I love that girl.

Also-- on a side note-- Quinn enjoys doing her best banshee impression after every time she pukes. We're talking top volume here. So Mac got to be awake, enjoying the show, most of the night as well. We're pretty sure she gets this from my side of the family-- Grandpa Bray sounds like a mad dog whenever he pukes. Some good pukey-yelling there. Yep.

And BTW- you're welcome. This was just one of those nights that was too good not to share. I'm sure you all have your own stories to match or even best this one.....

From us to you....

First of all, can I just say how much I love this first picture-- Tys and I were completely oblivious to the crazy Quinnness going on behind us and Mac is just loving it!

 a BIG thank you to Emilee, for stopping by and taking these pics for us, on her way home! Here are all the losers..... (the ones that didn't quite make the cut, but show a little personalitay)

 

And here are the masterpieces.......

Merry Christmas!

I had a bad day....

Sunday-- and not just any Sunday-- FAST Sunday. And for my non-mormon friends out there-- that does not mean an expedited Sunday-- it means the one Sunday each month that the entire church goes without food and water for two consecutive meals (usually accompanied by prayer, and a special purpose). This particular fast Sunday started off like any other, except that Tyson slept in and when he woke up, he had to take his antibiotics (MUST take with FOOD). And so.... I was the only person fasting. That is a lonely place to be, my friends. But I soldiered on. I prepared my Sunday school lesson and got ready to propose a big project to my class, one that I was REALLY excited about. We even left for church with plenty of time to spare and claimed some soft seats for sacrament. Sacrament was okay-- I think. I missed most of it, because Mac was either hitting me, pulling my hair or otherwise causing some general havoc. I took him out halfway through and just let him run the halls (this was done for my- and Tyson's- sanity, not Mac's). When I came back in, Quinn had to go potty, so out I went AGAIN. By the time we got back, it was time for the closing song and Tyson and Mac were nowhere to be seen. When we got out of sacrament, we found Tyson and Mac in the hallway and bundled up the kids and sent them home with Tyson (they were both sick as well). And I soldiered on (AGAIN) and headed to my Sunday School class, already thoroughly frazzled....

Now, before I continue on with my narrative... a word about my Sunday school class-- they are 13-14 year olds and are usually VERY well behaved. They contribute to the lesson, and generally make me very happy to have the calling I have. Sufficeth to say.... I was not prepared for what awaited me behind door #2 this day.

I walked in and after explaining that Tyson and Mac were sick and would not be joining us, I was answered with exclamations of, "uhhh, today is going to be so boring." One of the more polite girls stated that today would be very "calm." Ouch. BUT I soldiered on. It only went downhill from there. At one point, I was trying to talk OVER their obnoxious remarks and found myself yelling, "I know that the Lord will bless us when we ask for help in our callings!" Wow. I mentally took a step back and just decided today was not going to go as expected. At the end (more or less) of my lesson, I broached the subject of the big project......... nothing. No enthusiasm. And they all pretty much shot me down. When the conversation ONCE AGAIN delved into Justin's suspenders, I just said, "okay- who's praying?" They were all taken back, this was the first time that I had ever ended a lesson without bearing my testimony and thanking them for their participation. Justin stood up and prayed and then I practically ran from the classroom to my car. I came home and bawled my eyes out, ranting about everything including my ridiculous inability to teach. I told Tyson I wanted to be released.

Now here's the thing about me and FAST sunday-- I don't do well on an empty stomach. Things of a spiritual nature seem to come much more easily, but my ability to think and reason and think reasonably GO OUT THE WINDOW. I mean they literally FLY. My self-confidence hovers around a negative one and if anything goes wrong, I am instantly an emotional wreck. I don't do well. 

So Tyson did his best to console me and promised that my class had just had a bad day. Things would be better next week. I silently vowed there WOULD NOT be a next week. I tried to cheer up over the next few hours and not think about the cheesy sandwich I had watched Tyson wolf down at lunch. (I failed by the way, and broke my fast early- around 3:30)And then at 4:45 we headed into tithing settlement. (a time, once a year, when each member of the ward sits down with the bishop and declares whether they have paid a full or part tithe that year.) We got into the Bishop's office and our children went crazy. It was like someone had hit the ludicrous button located on the top of their heads. Mac just started SCREAMING and hitting Tyson as hard as he could over and over and over. And when Tyson put him down, he just screamed LOUDER. Quinn absolutely refused to sit after the first five seconds, and ran around the room making fart noises on her arm and intermittently begging the Bishop for MORE candy. And in the midst of this, the Bishop turns his penetrating gaze on me and asks, "Sister Allen, how have you been blessed in your home as you have kept your covenants?" Wait, what? Do you see what's going on right now?! Okay, blessings.... ummmm..... (fart noise-- I'd call it a trumpeter) "I think..... that we have felt a greater sense of.... um.... peace?" (oh please, just send us on our way) Bless his heart, he acted like it was the right answer, ended our interview, and ushered us out the door. We went home and had Quinn recite, "I will not make fart noises in front of the Bishop." twenty times and then made her kiss our feet. (totally kidding-- but I thought about it!)

The rest of the night I prayed for bedtime-- harder than I had ever prayed for anything ever. And it eventually came. We put our kids down and settled in for some relaxy time. Tyson wanted to watch "The TESTAMENTS," so we did. And then came my happy ending. I remembered why I am here, and why I do what I do. Because God has blessed me to live now, and to be a MOM, and to raise these crazy wonderful children. Because I am blessed to know the plan of salvation and to know of our Savior's atonement for us. Because the atonement is REAL and PERSONAL. Because Jesus Christ knows my name and more than that-- He knows my struggles.... 

and because I love HIM.

Q is for Quinn

I haven't done a post dedicated to my sassy little 3 year old in quite some time. This is overdue. Up until about two months ago, whenever Quinn woke up with a bad dream, she would just scream at the top of her lungs until I came stumbling into her room and sang "Child of God." And then, all of a sudden, she stopped doing this and started quietly creeping into our room and just standing beside the bed until I woke up with the feeling that I was being watched. Creepy, right? OR is that just ME that has a fear of waking up with someone standing next to the bed holding something scary... i.e. a knife or gun or cheese grater (hey-- I have cut myself many-a-time on that bad boy!) ? Anywho, so two nights ago, this same situation occurred-- Quinn came in and quietly whispered "mom," and I woke up thinking death was near, and when I recovered my senses, I said, 

"Quinn, what's wrong?"

"Mom, my bedroom is so scary."

"Oh, it's not scary, babe."

"Yes it is, can I sleep in the tunnel?"

"Huh? Are you sure you're awake?"

"The tunnel, mom"

??

"The tunnel by you and daddy."

Lightbulb!

She wanted to sleep between me and Tyson! Apparently, the two of us form a protective "tunnel" when lying in bed. Who knew? And it must be magical, because she was asleep within a matter of seconds. It made me remember a time when I was around 3, crawling into the safety and security of my parent's bed and finding my own "tunnel" in the crook of my mom's legs. Laying on top of the cream colored silky blanket with orange yarn ties, I was completely safe.

For Emily..... Tea parties, sleep, silly faces, and pumpkins.

I got so much done today!! You would not even BeLiEvE!!! I promise. And when I came inside from washing the Expedition-- I found a sweet (hardly) little note from Emily expressing a desire to see some life on this here blog. And since I am in a Get-er-dun kind of mood-- here I am.

These pics are from a glorious tea party with Auntie Emily one day when Quinn's little friend ended up not being able to attend. She was so stinking excited I couldn't just NOT do it! (Emily, of course. Did you think I was talking about Quinn?)

One night after watching some TV- I came back to Quinn's room to check on her and found this....

These are your eye candy Em....

And Monday night, our first FHE of October, we spent carving pumpkins and watching "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!"

Good enough, sassy pants? :)